Keep the Love Alive

DATE NIGHT

The kids are bickering, the laundry is piled up and the dog needs to go out. The phone rings, the kitchen timer buzzes and your spouse walks in with a frown after a bad day at work. Sound familiar? What you two need is a good, old-fashioned date — a chance to leave the stresses of daily life behind and rekindle your romance.

Communication can easily break down between two people if they don’t catch up and share their feelings on a regular basis. Making time for a date can provide the focused time that is necessary to connect and nurture the person you hold dear.

Jake and Mary Farrell of Eau Claire, Wis., just celebrated their 42nd anniversary. They attribute the success of their marriage to regularly scheduled date nights that kept their romance alive and their friendship strong. Especially after children came along, they were determined not to view each other as “Mommy and Daddy” and forget that they were best friends first.

Instead, the Farrells explained to their kids, “You exist because we are. You are the culmination of our best efforts,” and off they’d go to strengthen the bond of their love.

Amy Pickens, M.A., of Your Place for Marriage Counseling in Philadelphia, Pa., agrees and goes a step further. She maintains that date nights are important because they offer an opportunity for couples to see each other through fresh eyes. Just as they did in the beginning, each person will put his or her best foot forward and be impressed with the other’s attempts to do the same.

Pickens points out that the positive feelings of love and affection that come from a date night will release “peaceful brain chemicals, including oxytocin, the ‘bonding hormone.’”

“Studies show that loving, nurturing and harmonious relationships are associated with faster recovery from injury and illness, longer life expectancy and a decreased risk of depression and addictions,” explains Pickens. “So date nights are like a vaccine against and a cure for the boredom, stress and conflict between couples.”

The challenge is in making the time for the date. Both people need to make regular date nights a priority. Pickens recommends making one night each week a Date Night, “so that the cumulative effects of time alone are not lost.”

That may sound expensive, but it doesn’t have to be. To cut costs, trade date nights with friends so that neither couple has to pay a sitter. The night doesn’t have to be long, either. Go for walks, play cards at a diner, sit on a blanket under the stars or park like you did when you were dating. In any case, be creative. A drink or dinner out at a favorite restaurant is always fun, but a concert along the river, a tour of a local history museum or a visiting ballet can add variety to your dates.

Alternate who will decide on the activity, and then be enthusiastic about the adventure. If she wants to drive to a winery that winds up being closed, savor the drive. If he wants to take in a ballgame with thousands of screaming college kids, hold his hand. Remember, it’s not about the activity; it’s about your time together.

Be respectful of your partner’s interests. If you know that your spouse truly loathes a particular activity, then avoid it during this time to show how much you cherish your soul mate.

“Any date that violates the values of one or both people in the couple can make time alone a disaster,” warns Pickens.

Also, be sure you have time to talk on your date. A theater performance or a movie are fun activities for Date Night, but make time after the passive activity for conversation and laughter. A late-night decaf at a hip coffee shop or a cocktail at a swanky lounge would cap off the evening with an opportunity to rehash the performances and catch up on the week’s happenings.

No matter what, remember your goal: to keep the romantic fire kindled.

Says Pickens, “the best intention for a date night is to truly savor the deliciousness of being totally and deeply concentrated on each other.”

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Holiday Shopping Smiles

 

 

Be Nice

Everyone hopes to be on Santa’s “nice” list, but the mad rush of holiday shopping often brings out the naughty in people. Freeman Hall, author of the recently released “Retail Hell,” manages to put a funny spin on the torture sales associates sometimes experience, but in real life it’s not so funny.

Hall says shoppers should remember that during the holidays sales associates work crazy hours in stores that stay open late. Commutes are longer than usual because many stores require employees to park off-site, and they miss out on family events, parties and their own shopping time. They are tired, their feet hurt and they have been yelled at by 10 people before you ever arrive in their department. Take a breath, keep in mind that they are someone’s dad, sister or child, too, and be kind.

“The people who were nice always got the best from me,” says Hall.  “I didn’t care about the mean and nasty people – even though I was on commission.”

Here are some of Hall’s tips for maintaining sanity and keeping everyone smiling during the busiest shopping season of the year.

 

  • A smile and manners go a long way. Nothing ruins a sales associate’s day faster than a Scrooge on steroids. Greet him or her with a jolly smile, not a crabby scowl.
  • Misperception breeds contempt. When you greet a busy clerk who looks right through you, don’t be angry. She is likely working with a customer, answering a phone call, fixing a cash register and delivering a sweater to a dressing room – all at the same time. Don’t get angry, just try again later.
  • Make it fun. Humor is contagious and defuses tense situations.
  • Trust and respect your salesperson.  Don’t turn away great customer service by running away from someone you perceive as a pushy clerk.  They know what’s hot, new and might be tucked away in a stock-room drawer.  Don’t feel obligated to go with their suggestions, but their knowledge might save you valuable time.
  • Shop early in the day. That’s when sales associates are ready to give you their best service. If it’s closing time on a late night, they’re more interested in getting home than in helping you find just the right thing.
  • Let the sales associate know you care. If another customer is being obnoxious, make a funny face behind her back. Then tell his manager what a good job he did in fielding the hostility. His appreciation will inspire extra service for you.
  • Check your holiday diva at the door. Don’t have a tantrum about something over which the sales associate has no control. If the store has run out of boxes or a hot item, that’s the CEO’s issue. Buy your gift boxes at a discount store and shop for the item elsewhere.
  • Exercise patience. If the line is long, there’s a reason. Employees call in sick, people have complicated transactions, cash registers break. Go have a coffee, do another errand and come back later. If you must stay in line, pull a good book from your handbag and relax until it’s your turn.
  • Sales associates are not your servants. Overworked employees do not have time to pick up after you, so pitch in and help. If you can’t hang a dress on a hanger properly, neatly fold it and hand it to someone who can. Don’t leave it in a wad on the floor or shoved in a shoe rack.
  • If you must shop with children, bring books, hidden pictures or Game Boys. Play “Going on a Picnic” and list with them all of the things you’ll bring from A to Z. Everyone in the store will appreciate your effort, and you’ll wind up getting the best service in return.
  • Service matters. Shop at stores that take pride in their customer service and reward their employees for treating you well.
  • Spoil your helpers. Surprise an exhausted sales associate who has helped you regularly over the year with a latte or a chocolate bar. Your effort will make someone’s day, and you’ll probably get tips on hot sale items in the new year.

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Swine Flu

 

 

Debunking the Myth:  What can you REALLY do to avoid Swine Flu?

Swine flu is putting a huge dent in school attendance records and keeping people home from work.  Those who haven’t gotten the H1N1 virus yet are doing whatever they can to avoid being the next victim, but unfortunately, many of the suggestions about staying healthy are untested and sometimes untrue.

Saltwater swabs of nasal and oral cavities might feel good and increase breathing capability, but representatives from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and Mayo Clinic claim they aren’t likely to prevent viral infections.  Similarly, drinking hot beverages soothes sore throats and offers hydration, but hot liquids won’t wash the virus into your stomach to be destroyed.  Mouthwash isn’t able to provide protection either.

“H1N1 lives mostly in the nasal area, so there is no way to gargle or wash it out,” says CDC spokeswoman Amanda Aldridge.

Dr. William Marshall, an infectious disease specialist at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., agrees.  He says the influenza virus is borne on droplets that are spread during coughs, sneezes and conversation.  These can be transferred to the eyes, nose and mouth directly or by hands that have touched contaminated surfaces where a virus can survive up to 48 hours.  As soon as the virus comes into contact with the mucous membranes, it is quickly absorbed directly into the body’s cells.

Researchers are testing the ability of green tea to inhibit influenza virus replication.  The outlook is good, but so far no large-scale tests have been performed that would prove its effectiveness.  The same is true of garlic, apple juice and cranberry juice.

“None of those things hurt if they make people feel better, but they are unlikely to increase chances that they will or won’t get influenza,” explains Marshall.

According to him, the best way to prevent an H1N1 infection is by being vaccinated against it.  Go to www.flu.gov to find vaccination availability in your area.

Some people have sought out infection at “swine flu parties” in order to build immunity to H1N1, but the CDC recommends against this potentially dangerous practice.

After vaccination, the best defense against infection is hand washing with warm water and soap.  This does not destroy a virus but removes it from the hands, thus preventing easy transfer to the eyes, nose and mouth.  There is no need for a special antiseptic soap since the purpose of washing is simply to send the virus down the drain.  Any soap will work to break down the grease and grime that hide lurking viruses, and using it will add to the amount of time spent at the sink.  Wash for at least 20 seconds, being sure to scrub fingernails and between fingers thoroughly.  Sing the whole alphabet song, and don’t rinse until “you sing with me.”   Then dry with a paper towel; reusable cloth towels can be havens for viruses.

“We recommend soap and water,” says Aldridge, “but an alcohol-based hand sanitizer is a good alternative.”

According to Marshall, most are alcohol-based antiseptics that denature proteins.  They work against a wide range of microorganisms like bacteria and viruses but need to have a minimum of 60 percent alcohol to be successful.

Some hand sanitizers contain triclosan instead of alcohol, but the CDC says that the health effects of this compound are unknown and that more research is needed to determine if it adversely affects human health.  Aldridge says she has been told that avoiding triclosan might be a good idea until studies prove whether its antibacterial properties lead to antibiotic resistance.

Aside from good hygiene, use general courtesy and healthy habits to prevent the H1N1 virus from spreading.  Cough into the elbow or a tissue that can be thrown away, and head to the sink for another wash.  Stay away from crowded places and sick people.  Don’t “hug” soiled linens if they have been used by someone who has the flu, and wipe household surfaces with antiseptic cleansers.  If you are entertaining, consider plating food individually instead of offering a buffet, and set appetizers out in decorative cupcake papers so that people have individual servings and avoid sharing food touched by contaminated hands.

“Follow general measures to remain healthy,” advises Marshall.  “Don’t smoke, maintain a good body weight, get exercise, get plenty of sleep, have a healthy diet with appropriate amounts of vitamin D and C – those standard things seem to make a difference.”

 

 

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Wedding Favors

FAVORED FAVORS
When it comes to gifts, there is a special option for every event

 

Few days in life are as significant as a wedding day, and the details associated with it are numerous. Most revolve around the bride and groom’s celebration of their union, but there is one element of the day that specifically nods to the guests.

The wedding favor is a token gift shared with those who attend a couple’s important event, and it is an opportunity for the bride and groom to demonstrate style, spunk, creativity and gratitude.

Since the sixteenth century, wedding favors have been “in favor.” Aristocracy in France and Italy gave bejeweled boxes that contained confectionary treasures. Sugar was a rare luxury and complimented such a sweet moment.

Couples of lesser means gave “love knots” of lace and ribbon that extended the bride and groom’s good luck to their guests. In the Middle East, the tradition included wrapping five almonds in beautiful fabric to represent love, fertility, prosperity, health and happiness. Over time, a candy coating was added to the almonds to represent the bitter-sweetness of marriage. These colorful “confetti” remain a common and traditional wedding favor around the globe.

Angela Cocker, owner and founder of Divine Details Event Planning in Columbia, S.C., suggested that the wedding and reception plans should be well underway before a couple selects a favor. That way, an item can be chosen that better enhances the event.

“For example,” said Cocker, “if the couple decides on an evening affair that will run late into the night, providing guests with some yummy breakfast items on their way out the door is a great way to say good night.”

Also, by choosing a favor after the guest list has been secured, it is easier to gauge who will attend and what kind of small gift is suitable for them. A raucous bash for close friends calls for an entirely different item than an elegant affair for guests chosen by the couple’s parents.

Budget is important, and there are ways to be elegant and personal without breaking the bank. A special flower tucked into each guest’s napkin adds a dreamy touch to the tables. A chocolate truffle, perhaps one in a thematic shape, draws upon the sweet history of wedding favors and is delightfully consumable for guests who prefer to enjoy the celebration without having to keep track of a crafty keepsake.

“The world is shifting and thinking right now,” advises Rebecca Gaffney, event coordinator and partner in Red Letter Days Events in San Diego, Calif., “so anything that is not wasteful is appreciated.”

With that in mind, “green” favors are becoming more popular. A lucky bamboo plant in a vase enhances an Asian-themed wedding table while a baby blue spruce bundled in burlap compliments a reception at a rustic inn in the mountains. A tulip bulb wrapped in color-coordinated cloth and tied with a ribbon bearing the couple’s name and wedding date inspires the continued growth of love. Plantable herb seed place cards make tasteful mementos that can be savored later on.

Incorporate useful local items that are thematic or seasonal. An autumn reception in the North Woods calls for a maple leaf shaped bottle of syrup, but in Napa Valley a corkscrew is most fitting. At a winter reception in New York, a sparkly ornament is appropriate, while in New Orleans, beignets and chicory-laced coffee are always a treat.

A personal way to favor guests is by sharing things that are hand crafted. Homemade soaps or candles tied with recycled paper or ribbon make a colorful arrangement near the guest book. Add inexpensive monogrammed boxes of matches for extra flair. Music-loving couples might share a CD of special songs and couples who delight in culinary activities might assemble a small collection of favorite recipes.

“One couple we worked gave cookies as their favor,” Gaffney said. “Each pouch came with recipes from the couple’s grandmothers — and a carton of milk.”

One of the newest and most popular favors that couples are sharing is the gift of giving. A civic-minded couple can donate to a favorite charity or foundation in each guest’s name or on behalf of the entire group. A note at each place setting or a sign at the guest book can explain the meaning behind the conscientious and contemporary gift.

Pine Mouth Problem Causes Epicurean Distress

Culinary Pine Nuts

Pine nuts, used by creative cooks in salads, pestos and snacks, are now reportedly causing an unpleasant condition called "pine mouth."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Embracing international foods and experimenting with culinary embellishments has become a way of life for creative cooks, and pine nuts have become popular additions to salads, pestos, confections and baked goods.  But recent reports say that these nuts are responsible for a bitter, metallic, sour aftertaste that persists as long as two weeks.

“I ate pine nuts on a Sunday, and had symptoms by Monday,” says Cheryl Thiede, a cooking enthusiast in Eau Claire, Wis. “I was very anxious about what it could be – anxious enough to go to the Internet to see what horrible medical condition I could have.”

What she found was pine mouth, a condition she ultimately endured for a week.  Thiede’s symptoms were similar to others who shared her problem. Her taste sensors were normal when chewing any food, but within seconds of swallowing, a terrible aftertaste would blossom in the back of her mouth. Fortunately there were no other health implications, but the bad taste was distressing.

“It was really disturbing because I love food and discouraging because I couldn’t get rid of it,” she explained.

Time is the only cure for this culinary landmine that is selective in whom it affects. Two people can eat from the same pile of pine nuts with one escaping unscathed.

The increasing problem may have its origins in plant species and international consumerism.

The pine nut has been used since prehistory as a culinary supplement in Europe and the Southwestern United States, but it was sustainable by the people enjoying its gentle flavors until recently.  Now that the globe continues to shrink and demand for what was once known as a gourmet item continues to rise, there is a supply-and-demand issue.

“There have been about 100 complaints [of pine mouth] from Feb. 22, 2009, to the present,” notes Mike Herndon of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration’s Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition.

The first known case of pine mouth happened in Belgium in 2001, but many cases go unreported. Since then, several studies have been performed on pine nuts in an attempt to determine which were causing the bad tastes.  A report done by Nestle Research Center in Lausanne, Switzerland, suggested that like fingerprints, the fatty-acid profiles of pine nuts are specific to the species of tree from which they are harvested. The report suggested that two of the several species of tree from which commercial pine nuts are harvested are not considered to be edible, those commonly known as Chinese white pine and Chinese red pine. Other reports propose that it is the oxidation levels of the nuts that are to blame for the taste disturbances.

The specific origin of pine mouth remains debatable, but the European Union was concerned enough about the situation to issue an EU Rapid Alert System for Food and Feed in August 2009.  Their explanation for the discomforting aftertaste was that edible Chinese pine nuts had been combined with inedible nuts that had high tannins and different fatty-acid profiles, especially during the 2008-09 seasons.

Fortunately, the China Tree Nut Association, the China Chamber of Commerce for Imports and Exports of Foodstuffs and the Chinese pine nut processors have listened to the concerns of their international customers.  In November 2009 they gathered together to pursue the pine nut situation.  Their determination was that the white “Huashan” variety of pine nut should not be used in snack, salad or bakery products. Furthermore, it should not be mixed with other pine nut varieties for overseas markets.

Until market reliability returns, however, there are steps that can be taken to prevent the distasteful affliction.  This might be an excellent time to broaden culinary horizons and use walnuts, almonds or pistachios to sprinkle on salads or blend into pestos.  The slightly different flavors will nod to gastronomic creativity.

But the gentle flavor of these ancient nuts is enticing enough to overcome the worst threat of pine mouth’s horrible aftertaste.

“I think I’ll eat them again,” says Thiede, “but for a long time I will pause and think about it. I don’t want to have pine mouth again for sure.”

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Conserve Your Clutch

 

Toes on the Road

Toes on the Road

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The driver of a standard transmission controls a car’s gears based on driving  conditions, and the car’s clutch mechanism is its key component. It is essential to keep it in good working order.

When an engine is running, it is driving a clutch disc hooked directly to the driveshaft. A friction plate connects onto that disc. When the standard transmission’s driver presses the clutch pedal, the friction plate is disengaged so that the motor spins freely and is no longer connecting the engine to the drivetrain. When the clutch pedal is released, the friction plate again engages in a desired gear and gets the car going down the road.

Friction causes heat, and heat is a clutch’s worst enemy. If the friction plate is not completely engaged or disengaged from the clutch disc, a lot of heat between the two spinning mechanisms will burn up the friction plate quickly. It is preferable to avoid this expensive repair if at all possible.

Jim Halvorson, a driving instructor at the prestigious Road America racetrack in Elkhart Lake, Wis., offers tips that prevent clutches from burning out before their time.

Keep RPMs low when you come off the line. Don’t exceed 2,000-2,500 RPMs when engaging a clutch. Any more engine revving will create unnecessary friction. Once the clutch pedal is fully released, engine speed becomes irrelevant to clutch preservation.

Find the “sweet spot.” With the right foot on the brake, push the clutch in, put the car in first gear and slowly release the clutch. When the car’s engine begins to slow down and the tachometer starts to drop, the clutch starts to engage. Once you find that sweet spot, release the brake, give the car just a little bit of gas, slowly release the rest of the clutch and away you go. This technique is especially useful on hill starts.

Don’t break the egg. Release the clutch too quickly, and the engine will die. Linger on the clutch pedal too long, and too much heat builds up in the system. Pretend here is an egg between your foot and pedals and try not to break it. By using a gentle, smooth motion, you won’t jump on the gas too hard or off the clutch too quickly, and the clutch will be preserved.

Downshift only if you want to. It isn’t necessary to slow an engine down through downshifting and won’t add noticeable life to brake pads. Nor will it reduce the life of a clutch. As long as a clutch is fully disengaged and then engaged between gear-shifting, friction won’t build and the clutch won’t experience anymore wear shifting down than up through the gears. As a driving technique, though, this emergency trick is helpful in case of unexpected brake failure.

Don’t hover. It is tempting to halfway engage the clutch and halfway press the gas pedal when waiting at an intersection to allow a faster start. This will heat up the clutch significantly. The better plan is to press the brake and disengage the clutch completely until it’s time to roll.

Don’t ride the clutch. This standard warning pertains to the custom of resting one’s foot on the clutch pedal. The better foot rest is on the “dead pedal.” It is usually flush to the floor on the far left of the pedal set and should be used as a fourth pedal and footrest between gear changes.

Cyril Meyer is an auto mechanic in Sauk Center, Minn., who has worked with cars for 53 years. He suggests awareness as a primary care technique.

When a clutch slips, the engine will race without the car going fast – if at all – or the car may be sluggish when the clutch is engaged. If that happens, or if there is a sound of metal grinding, Meyer says it’s time to visit a clutch doctor. He also recommends not flooring the gas pedal to come off the line.

“You want to have a nice, smooth engaging of the clutch,” he said. “Don’t spin the tires.”

The driving instructor and the professional mechanic agree: Friction and heat are the enemies of any clutch. Drive thoughtfully, and your standard transmission will last indefinitely.